Are you scared yet? I’m not, but I understand.

In February 2019, a man was arrested for a plot to kill “almost every last person on earth.” This trend, as armed combatants continue to threaten and assault and murder people in the United States. Even though it provides me solace to read Onion headlines after a tragedy, I also have to remember that I want to work and live in public places in the United States, and I want to do so without being overcome by fear.

My first thought was some version of, Fuck, that’s terrible, so many victims. My second thought was, I grew up next to a Seabee Base, a major military port. My third thought was, See, we need to be focused on domestic issues, not international terrorists. Our current political climate has created this scenario, putting millions in danger.

Once the emotion of those headlines and ledes had worn off, I realized that this person, this Homegrown Violent Extremist (boy, the FBI sure loves its acronyms), is just a product of his experiences and brain chemistry.

There is no reason for any of us to fear any of the millions of active military or veterans. There is no reason for us to believe that the president created a monster with his hateful rhetoric. There is no reason for us to conclude that it is the fault of Al Qaeda, or the KKK, or Fox News, or CNN, or any of the other scapegoats (video games, violent movies, lack of mental health awareness) we want to place blame on.

Any or all of these factors may have contributed to the experiences of this man who was plotting to cause harm. Or there may be any number of unnamed and unidentified reasons. If you take a moment to reflect on your own life, where has the most pain and fear come from? Does it come from the national news media? Your memories of 9/11? An episode of Jersey Shore or Duck Dynasty?

I can only speak for myself, but most of the pain and fear in my life has come directly from people I know and experiences I’ve had, including those I had a role in. Maybe I’m ridiculously fortunate in my life to avoid being a victim of random violence, but statistics don’t support that. Statistically, we are all much more likely to be the victim of traumafrom people we know, or the people assigned to care for us.

I hope that these ideas and statistics don’t scare you further. For me they are a reminder. Caring for our loved ones, paying attention to those around us, and listening to those of us who have a story to tell, will all affect more change in the world than the headlines would have us believe. Care for those around you, be kind to your “enemies,” and offer as many people as you can with unconditional love.